In this episode of Leadership Parenting, we explore a refreshing approach to goal setting that prioritizes what truly matters to YOU. Instead of overwhelming resolutions or rigid plans, we focus on intentional, process-driven goals that align with your unique needs, values, and circumstances. You’ll learn how to reflect on the past year, identify areas of growth, and create sustainable habits for your Body, Heart, and Relationships. This episode offers practical steps, insightful questions, and an encouraging perspective to help you design a resilient, joyful year without the pressure to do it all. Whether you’re a busy mom or simply seeking clarity for the year ahead, this episode is here to inspire and guide you. 🌟🎧
What you will learn on this episode:
- How to reflect on the past year to identify what brought you joy, what drained your energy, and what you want more of in the coming year.
- The importance of process-focused goal setting and how it differs from traditional goal setting by emphasizing sustainable habits over overwhelming resolutions.
- Practical ways to nurture your Body, Heart, and Relationships through small, intentional actions that align with your values and needs.
- Steps to create a resilient and joyful year by building foundational habits that support your well-being as a mom and as a woman.
- How to break down your goals into manageable steps and organize them for consistency and success throughout the year.
TRANSCRIPT
*This transcription below was provided for you or your convenience; please excuse any mistakes that the automated service made in translation.
Hi friends, welcome back to Leadership Parenting. It is a new year. How are you feeling? Exhausted, recovering or kind of ready to go?
01:02
For me, the holidays always require a little recovery time. Work slows down and, honestly, I am really grateful for it, because it’s a chance to rest and reflect and just figure out what I want for the year ahead. You know I let go of traditional goal setting a long time ago after realizing that I usually jumped in way too fast and would list out all the things on my mind that I wanted and they were great things. But I listed them off the top of my head and my heart sometimes, and I laid them out in front of me for the year in a very hopeful, big-hearted way and then very quickly I would get overwhelmed. My eyes were like too big for the capacity of what I could handle. My goals were great, but they weren’t carefully measured out according to my deepest desires and the resources that I actually had to support them. And so often they were end goals, not foundation building goals. It’s like I would be saying I wanna build a big, four bedroom, beautiful custom home and I’d make that my goal without thinking about the ground I needed to build that home on. So you know, a lot of goal setting is taught this way Identify your goal, throw it out into the universe and it will manifest. And I’m not against having a big vision or manifesting our heart’s desires, but I often forget that I need to add in the basics or the foundational things to my goals. Without these, I just never got very far. So I really understand why we don’t like to list things like this year I’m going to get more rest, or this year I’ll focus on listening more to my inner voice, or this year I’m going to learn to calm my body down when it gets stressed. Inner voice, or this year I’m going to learn to calm my body down when it gets stressed. I’m going to look at each of my kids in the face, in the eye, every day and really see them and tell them I love you.
02:53
These aren’t wild, crazy goals. When you try to measure things like these, they don’t often get a lot of interest or praise. We like goals like I want to feel super healthy this year, or maybe even run a marathon. I want to be more confident. I want my relationship with my kids to be stronger. But if we’re going to be successful at any of those bigger health goals or business goals, or even goals to be a great mom, we’re going to have to be successful at the not so sexy parts of those goals that I just listed that are actually part of the process we have to follow to get those big goals in place. And that’s what I want to talk about today how we can set goals that really matter to you, that really get you where you want to go, and you don’t need to overhaul your life to make meaningful progress Instead of setting rigid, overwhelming resolutions and goals.
03:47
I want to show you how to design your year in a way that’s all about you, your needs, your values, your unique circumstances, and it’s worth it to take this time for yourself, because when we take care of what we need, we’re not just better moms, we’re better humans. We’re showing up with more energy, patience and joy for the people that we love most. So today I want to guide you through four steps to design your year with intention, and I want us to start with step one, where we reflect on last year. Let’s start with taking a minute, maybe even close your eyes, if you’re not driving, and think back on this past year. If you haven’t already, maybe you can go back to last week’s episode, episode 74, where we talked about looking back on our year, and what we’re looking for is what brought you joy this past year, what felt fulfilling, what did you do that helped you feel stronger or more balanced in your life? I want you to think about those moments that maybe made you smile, or the times when you felt calm and grounded in spite of life’s chaos. These are the things that really were already in place, or at least were in place last year, and, hopefully, that you can take a look at and carry them over into this year.
05:11
Next, I want you to think about what you might think is missing from your year last year. What did you need more of that you didn’t get? What can you see now that maybe you couldn’t see when you were right in the middle of it? Did you long for more connection? Did you feel like you didn’t have time to move your body in a way that felt good? Did you miss out on moments of rest or creativity? Maybe you, like many of us, were so busy caring for others that your own needs were placed on the back burner. Were there any moments that you felt maybe even resentful or overly stretched? We want to look at what might be causing those things Now. These reflections are really gold. They’re your starting point and, as a mama wellness expert, these are the things I’m always thinking about when I’m working with a woman, because I know you have the data sitting right there in front of you and we don’t often like to look at it.
06:08
But this is the time to look, hopefully without judgment. So get those no judgment glasses on and look at what has been working for you this past year and maybe what has been missing. To help you dig deeper, I have a little exercise for us to do this. To start with, looking back at our year, grab a piece of paper and draw two columns. On one side, list all the things that brought you joy or aligned with your values, or what went well for you as far as your self-care and your wellness, and on the other side, write the things that maybe you felt were missing, what maybe drained your energy or what you longed for more of. And now that you’re looking back on it, maybe things you could see would have benefited you if you’d had them last year. Now, once you’ve drawn out your two columns, I want you to take a little closer look. Maybe you can see a few things that you want to keep doing or maybe do more of, and I bet you’ll start to have ideas of ways to problem solve the things that drained you and that made it harder for you last year.
07:21
Carrying forward what worked and addressing what didn’t is how we build a foundation. It’s about making intentional choices to repeat the good and gently change the things that were not so good. The next step, step two, is to focus on the essentials, the things that you’re going to need to be well this year, and now that you’ve reflected on the past, we’re going to focus on what you want more of in the year to come, and so the way I want to do this is to focus on three pillars that I really think support your life, and I call these body, heart and relationships and these are the pillars that really support you and keep you in balance, keep you aligned and relationships, and these are the pillars that really support you and keep you in balance, keep you aligned and grounded, and when they’re out of balance, it can really ripple through every other part of your life. So take that sheet of paper and turn it over and create three columns and write body, heart and relationship across the top. Now the body section is about how you take care of your physical and emotional well-being, and one of the simplest and most effective ways to think about taking care of your body is through the formula of sleep, soothe, fuel and move. These are four elements that are part of a deeper kind of self-care, one that builds a sturdy foundation for resiliency, not just as women, but for us as mothers, this is about way more than spa days or bubble baths. It’s about creating the habits that restore and sustain you day after day. So write sleep, soothe, fuel and move alongside the edge of your paper under body and let’s look at what you might put in each of these categories.
09:15
Under sleep, I want you to think about if you’re getting enough rest to recharge your body and mind. You know we know that a human body works best when we have a minimum of seven hours of sleep. I know that’s not always possible, but I want you to think about how you are doing in this area. What keeps you from sleeping? What might help you get more and better rest? Write a few ideas down that come to you. It might mean that you’re working on setting a consistent bedtime or creating a more calm evening routine. Small changes like limiting screen time before bed or adding a few minutes of mindfulness can really have a big impact on your energy and resilience. For me, I wrote get to bed before 11 pm and because sometimes I have trouble sleeping when I just kind of race into bed after working late or watching something on TV, I know I do better when I have a few minutes of transition time to stretch or read or take a hot shower. So I wrote those things down too.
10:23
Now, under soothe, how are you doing at calming your nervous system Because life is really stressful and finding ways to soothe yourself, whether it’s through deep breathing or meditation or even enjoying something like a warm cup of tea? It’s essential for managing the demands of motherhood and life. So think about how you calmed and soothed yourself last year. Is there anything you want to keep doing? And maybe you need some new ideas of how to soothe your body more effectively? So write down what comes to you. I’ve got that. I want to do more meditation because for me, when I have some quiet time, it really helps me calm and soothe that nervous system that gets kind of upset or stressed. And the more that I front load my meditation, the more my body knows how to calm and soothe when I’m in the middle of a stressful time.
11:18
Next one fuel. Are you nourishing your body with the right foods and with hydration? Now, the right foods are different for people depending on how they like to eat and what is happening with their body. So this doesn’t mean a perfect diet or a specific diet, but it does mean being intentional about eating in a way that supports your energy and wellbeing. Many moms I work with don’t eat much throughout the day. They’re not even aware of the kind of nutrition that they’re putting in their body. So for me, I wrote that I want to drink more water throughout the day, because that’s something I kind of forget to do, and add more veggies and protein to my meals. Rather than trying to take things away, I’m focusing on the things that I think would benefit me by adding to my nutrition.
12:07
This is a little of a brainstorm session for you. Just write down the things that come into your mind that you think might help you take better care of your body this year. And these elements may sound pretty basic, but they’re often the very things that we go without. You know, sleep is often sacrificed as late night to-do lists come up and soothing practices are just skipped in the rush of the day, and nutrition is replaced by quick and easy fixes and snacks, and sometimes junk food, and movement gets pushed aside when we feel too tired or overwhelmed. So these are the practices that, when we make small changes, create the solid ground we need to stand on as we move through life.
12:53
Next, let’s move on to the center column of your paper, where it says heart. This is the space where we’re turning inward to consider your dreams, the things that really matter most to you. So often we fall into the trap of comparison or measurement, looking at what others are achieving or what society tells us success should look like. But this part of the process isn’t about any of that. It’s about listening to your heart and your hopes. This focuses on your inner world, your dreams, your values and the things that light you up.
13:28
So ask yourself what does my heart need this year? To really hear the answer, it can be helpful to step away from outside influences. Maybe give yourself a social media fast for a couple of days and turn down the noise of that comparison or the shoulds those external expectations. Allow that inner voice to speak to you and ask yourself what does my heart and soul really need or really want this year? Maybe it’s more creativity, journaling or working on a passion project. Maybe it’s more stillness, quiet moments to reconnect with yourself. Maybe it’s simplifying, saying no to what drains you and yes to what excites you. You know so many times we get influenced by what’s around us and we get drained in service to others that we don’t often have this conversation with ourselves. This is the time to do it. Maybe your heart is asking for something simple yet profound, like more moments of stillness or the courage to say no to those things that don’t serve you anymore. So this isn’t about big, flashy achievements. It’s about tuning into the quiet, persistent desires within you that really deserve your attention.
14:44
Finally, let’s talk about relationships. Relationships are the threads that connect us to meaning and joy, and yet they often fall to the wayside when life gets busy. This area invites us to pause and ask who are the people that I cherish most and how can I nurture those bonds in a way that feels authentic and intentional? So, when considering relationships, I want you to think about the different roles you play as a partner, a parent, a friend and what’s working well in these areas. What might feel strained or neglected? Relationships don’t thrive by accident. They require care and effort. So think about the people who matter most and how you might deepen those connections. Maybe it’s a weekly one-on-one time with your kids, or regular date nights with your spouse, or simply reaching out to friends you’ve been meaning to reconnect with. These small efforts have the power to transform your connections and bring more fulfillment to your life.
15:48
Now you should be looking at your paper and the three categories. Now that you hopefully have an idea of what we’re going for here, I want you to take a minute and write down any other ideas for each of these three categories. Take a look at the other side of the page, where you listed what fueled you last year and what you want to carry forward into this year. You might also find inspiration by looking at what drained you or made your life harder. Sometimes, realizing what didn’t work sparks ideas for what might help you this year. These don’t need to be grand or complicated. Sometimes the simplest goals are the most transformative. For example, just prioritizing a weekly yoga class or setting aside 15 or 20 minutes for creative writing or dedicating time to have regular Sunday family dinners. These can be powerful steps toward a much more aligned life, and writing these things down helps us make them real and gives you a cleaner picture of what matters most to you. So what does your body need? What does your heart want more of? How can you feel more connected to the people you love? Isn’t this such a great exercise?
17:02
After you’ve given yourself some time to think through this, we move on to step three into the planning stage, and this is where the insights you’ve gathered turn into intentional choices and actions. So this worksheet is actually a kind of a vision board, and it’s not the kind that you hear about with the end results plastered on the board, but rather it’s a much more detailed and small step focus. You probably have a lot of little things you could do in these areas. I think I counted them up and I had about 25. If we’re not careful here, we could get very overwhelmed with all these small steps. So that’s why I invite you to do something a little different.
17:43
I want you to take a deep breath and close your eyes, literally set this paper in front of you with all the things you could be choosing to do, and get quiet, close your eyes and let your mind play with the ideas. I don’t want you to do everything, not even half the things. Actually, I want you to only do like two or three of the things, because the power lies in the doing, and when we overcommit, we will probably have to drop a lot of the things that we’re trying to do out of sheer survival, and so we’re not setting goals that way, not anymore. I want you to ask yourself, of all these little micro goals, which one would do me the most good right now today. Which one do I need the most or would help me the most? And then I want you to get very quiet and listen. Don’t believe anyone who tells you they know better than you about what you need. In fact, that might be the best part of this whole exercise that you get to ask yourself what feels like truth to you and you get to listen.
18:58
So listen and then open your eyes and find maybe one or two things you want to focus on for this week, maybe circle those. For example, this week in January could be about improving your sleep, and you could set a few things in place where you decide you’re going to try to have a regular bedtime or you’re going to shut things down an hour before bed. You might decide that looking your children in the eyes each day and saying I love you is the most important goal for you. You might, if you feel you have the bandwidth, put those two together for the month of January. In February, you might look at your body column and decide that there’s something in the movement area that you want to add, and you’ll bring that into your routine and decide if you need to keep doing the other things that you chose for the month of January, but the goal here is that you’re adding things little by little, and I think when you do this you’ll find that it’s not overwhelming.
20:11
It’s true that it might take you your whole year to get all of these micro steps attended to, but think of that accomplishment. If that is true, even if you were to get half of these things done in this year, what kind of process, strength and direction would you be building? You’re focusing on process, not outcome, and what we’ve learned is that it is the process that gets us to the outcome. When we focus on the steps of the process and we practice those, they are not only more manageable and sustainable, but they also lead us to that higher goal, that end result that we really deeply desire. Your health will improve, and also so will your problem solving and your emotional regulation. All of that will improve when you are getting more regular sleep. We have research on that, we know that that is true. Your relationships with your kids and your spouse will improve when you had small moments of connection, and your confidence will grow stronger as you listen to what your body and heart need and respond drop by drop, day by day, by embedding small, intentional actions into your daily life, they become habits that, over time, create the lasting change we long for, and this is how you build that big, beautiful life.
21:38
I encourage you to take some time in the next few days to reflect on the steps we’ve discussed. Start with your reflections what worked for you this past year and what didn’t and then move into planning for your body, heart and relationships. Break it down, make it manageable and give yourself permission to take it slow. You deserve that kind of care and intention, and it will help you be successful. If you’d like extra support with this, I would love for you to join me this year as we walk this path together.
22:14
Beyond these podcast episodes, I’m working on creating a special space where we share insights and support one another and focus on achieving these kinds of goals that truly matter. In the coming weeks, I’ll be sharing more about this exciting project that I’m developing, because the journey is always better when we’re walking it together. But until then, I want you to be thinking about small, intentional things you can do to move yourself forward. Do this exercise, you guys. It’s so helpful and it will help you get a vision for where you want to go. Thank you so much for spending this time with me today.
22:55
I hope you leave this episode feeling encouraged and inspired and ready to take the next step toward designing a year that uplifts and supports you, and if you try any of these steps, I’d love to hear about it. Send me a message or share your reflections on Instagram at Lee Gurman, and don’t forget to tag me so we can connect. Remember you are worthy of this time and this care, and you’re building something beautiful this coming year for your life and for your dreams. One gentle step at a time. Your life and for your dreams. One gentle step at a time. So I will talk to you all next week. Take good care. You can always find me on Instagram, at Lee Gurman, or on my website at leegurmancom.
23:41
The Leadership Parenting Podcast is for general information purposes only. It is not therapy and should not take the place of meeting with a qualified mental health professional. The information on this podcast is not intended to diagnose or treat any condition, illness or disease. It’s also not intended to be legal medical or therapeutic advice. Please consult your doctor or mental health professional for your individual circumstances. Thanks again and take care.