Do you ever want to feel grateful… but you’re just too tired?
You’re not alone. In this episode, we’ll talk about what’s really happening in your brain when gratitude feels out of reach and how small, intentional shifts can help you rediscover peace and appreciation — even in the middle of the messy.
You’ll learn why gratitude isn’t about pretending everything’s fine, how it helps calm your body and rewire your thinking, and the surprising research showing how gratitude transforms both your mood and your family connections.
Plus, I’ll introduce The Goodness Challenge: 7 Days to Notice What’s Right in Your Life— a simple, encouraging email series designed to help you gently retrain your brain to see what’s good, one small moment at a time.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Why gratitude feels difficult when you’re overwhelmed or exhausted, and why that doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful
- How gratitude affects the brain and nervous system, helping shift your body out of stress and into steadiness
- A simple three-step process to retrain your brain to notice and appreciate what’s going well
- How modeling small, everyday gratitude shapes your children’s emotional wiring and strengthens family connection
- How to begin The Goodness Challenge and build a gentle, sustainable gratitude practice into your daily life
Sign up for The Goodness Challenge: 7 Days to Notice What’s Right in Your Life
Transcript
Hello, friends, and welcome back to Leadership Parenting. We are in the month of giving thanks — a season when everyone around us is reminding us to be grateful, to count our blessings, to notice the good. And yet, for so many of us, this season can feel really heavy. We’re heading into months that are wonderful and exciting… but also incredibly busy.
You might be thinking, I want to feel thankful. I want to be grateful. I really do. But honestly, I’m so tired. I just don’t have the energy. If that’s you, I want you to know that doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful. It means that you’re human — and you’re carrying a big pack on your back. And I think one of the hardest things that can happen when we’re striving to be stronger, deeper, and more aligned to our values is that we end up feeling guilty. We end up feeling worse for all that striving to do good and be good.
So today, I want to talk about resetting that — and how to do it with the very thing we’re worried about not feeling enough of: gratitude. I want to look at what gratitude actually does for us — and why it’s worth practicing even when we feel overwhelmed. In small ways, we can gently train our brains to start seeing the good again. Because gratitude isn’t just a nice thought — it’s very much a part of building the resilience we all need. It protects our brain from stress, and it helps our whole body feel more steady.
Let’s start with why gratitude is so powerful. We all know it’s good for us — studies show that it helps with everything from lowering blood pressure to improving sleep to boosting happiness. But what’s less talked about is why gratitude can feel so hard to access when we need it most — especially when we’re feeling overwhelmed or running on empty.
When we’re tired, the brain isn’t looking for what’s good. It’s scanning for what’s wrong. That’s just biology — your nervous system doing its job, keeping you alert and focused on problems you need to solve. But it also creates another problem. When your mind stays in survival mode for too long, it stops noticing what’s safe or comforting — the things that help you relax and breathe.
So that’s where gratitude comes in. It becomes a practice that helps shift your nervous system out of survival mode and back into calm and safety. It’s one of the most powerful ways your brain can regulate your emotions — something I teach often: how to train your brain to look for the good, not to deny the hard, but to balance it.
Here’s the fascinating thing about gratitude: when you notice something you appreciate — a soft blanket, your child’s laughter, the smell of your little one’s hair after a bath — your brain releases serotonin and dopamine, those calming, feel-good neurotransmitters. Your nervous system gets the message: It’s safe to rest. You can soften now.
And while this doesn’t always change how you feel right away, it does change how you function. Your heart rate slows. Your body moves out of fight or flight and into rest and repair. That shift makes you more patient, less reactive, and more present. Gratitude takes time — it’s a biological process. And we can train our brains to make that shift more easily because stress shows up daily. Gratitude can, too. Every time you notice and appreciate something, you’re strengthening those neural connections and teaching your brain to see the good more easily next time.
Let’s clear something up: gratitude isn’t about pretending. Sometimes we get that confused. When someone says, “Just be grateful,” while you’re hurting or struggling, that’s not gratitude — that’s suppression. The kind of gratitude we’re talking about is healing. It doesn’t erase the hard stuff; it sits beside it. It says, Yes, this is painful and hard — and also, there is good here too. That’s the balance that helps us grow stronger — and stay out of guilt.
So if you’re having a hard time right now, you don’t need to feel bad about it. We’re just building something to sit next to it. Even one small thing that feels safe or kind or just okay — that’s enough for gratitude to start doing its quiet, steady work.
There’s some powerful research that shows this — not just for people in easy situations, but for moms facing real challenges. A study of mothers of children with autism asked them to participate in a short gratitude program — simple daily reflections and small acts of appreciation. What they found was remarkable. These moms experienced less depression, better sleep, and greater life satisfaction. Nothing in their circumstances changed — but what did change was their focus. Gratitude gave them just enough space from the stress to see that not everything was hard. They built something next to the hard things — moments of light, connection, and strength. And that’s what gratitude does for all of us. It widens the lens so we can hold both the good and the hard at the same time.
Here’s how I like to think about building gratitude when I work with women — in three simple steps. Step one: Have an intention. Make a decision to look for what’s working. Every morning, set a quiet intention: “Today, I’m going to notice what’s good.” That’s all. You don’t have to write it down — just saying it cues your brain to look differently at your world.
Step two: Let your attention linger for about ten seconds when you notice something good. It could be a hug, the way the light falls through the window, or even just that first sip of coffee. Pause and feel it. Your brain tags important moments — and it loves to tag stress. But we want it to start tagging calm, too. By lingering, you help your brain register that moment as meaningful. You’re deepening the imprint of safety and calm.
Step three: Share it. You could write it down, whisper it in a prayer, text it to someone, or share it at dinner. Gratitude grows when it’s expressed. Research shows it strengthens relationships, softens tension, and reconnects you to what matters most. It turns isolation into connection.
These three steps take almost no time. Set an intention. Notice and linger. Express it in some way. How does this look in real life? It has to be simple — because we’re tired. You might feel like, I don’t have time to be grateful. But honestly, you don’t have time not to be.
I’ve had seasons where gratitude felt completely out of reach — when I was overwhelmed, exhausted, and barely getting through the day. Counting blessings felt like another to-do list item I’d fail at. So I started small. Every morning, I set the intention: Today I’ll notice something good. At night, I find one way to express it — maybe writing, praying, or sharing it with my family. Over time, it becomes natural. The brain is sticky — it picks up and replicates what we practice most. Gratitude can become one of those habits.
So here’s your challenge for this week — your own mini gratitude practice. For the next seven days, take five minutes each day to ask yourself: What went right today? Who helped me, even in a small way? What did I handle better than I would have a year ago? Write them down, text them, or say them out loud. Even thinking about them counts. By the end of the week, I think you’ll notice something shift — not just in your thoughts, but in your energy, relationships, and mood. Because gratitude doesn’t just make us thankful — it helps us feel balanced and steady.
When you start to live this way — appreciating and expressing gratitude — it changes everything. One study found that parents who model gratitude regularly, even in small ways like saying thank you or acknowledging kindness, raise children with greater empathy, kindness, and emotional balance. Gratitude literally shapes the emotional wiring of our children. So every time you pause to thank your child, or notice the good in them — you’re helping build those same gratitude pathways in their developing brains. It doesn’t take much time — but the benefits are huge. For you and for them.
If you’d like to practice what we talked about today, join me for The Goodness Challenge: 7 Days to Notice What’s Right in Your Life. It’s a short, encouraging email series I’ve created — simple, easy to follow, and made for real-life moms. Each day you’ll get one small idea to help you feel lighter and more connected. No journaling, no pressure — just small shifts that make a big difference. To join, go to LeighGermann.com, find Episode 120 in the show notes, and click the link to sign up for The Goodness Challenge. Sometimes just reading the subject line will help you recenter your focus — and we could all use that right now. Let’s do it together.
As we head into Thanksgiving and the busy holiday season, I hope you’ll give yourself the gift of slowing down enough to see what’s already here — all the goodness you’ve built and experienced. Right next to the hard things, let’s build a reservoir of light and love. You don’t have to feel it all at once. Just notice it. Linger with it. Let it land. It will help you feel more balanced, more steady, and more joyful.
I’m grateful for you. Because of you, I spend hours researching and reflecting on the topics I share here — and that’s a gift to me. It keeps me grounded, connected, and inspired. My life is better because of you. I’m grateful for the time we’ve had today to open our minds and hearts together, as we do this quiet, brave work of leading our families. I hope you have a beautiful, gratitude-filled week, and I’ll talk to you next time. Take care.
If you feel like these ideas really speak to you, but you’re not sure how to apply them in your life, you don’t have to do it alone. I’m currently opening a few one-to-one coaching spots for moms who are ready to go deeper and get personalized support as they build their own resilience. We’ll take everything we talk about here and tailor it to your life, your story, and your goals. If that sounds like something you’re craving, just head to LeighGermann.com and click on One-to-One Coaching. We’ll set up a free call to talk about where you are, where you want to be, and whether coaching is the right next step for you.
You can always find me on Instagram at @LeighGermann or on my website at LeighGermann.com. The Leadership Parenting Podcast is for general information purposes only. It is not therapy and should not take the place of meeting with a qualified mental health professional. The information shared here is not intended to diagnose or treat any condition, illness, or disease. Please consult your doctor or mental health professional for your individual circumstances. Thanks again — and take care.