Back to School With Confidence
Meeting your child's 5 core needs during transitions
Your child can be fine at home and come apart at the classroom door. Or she's quieter than she was in July and you can't get a straight answer out of her. A transition asks something of a child that an ordinary day doesn't, and underneath it there are five specific needs. Once you can name them, you know what to do.
50 minutes
Workbook included
Watch anytime
Yours to keep
Free through September 30
$97 after October 1
$97 one time
Watch it as many times as you need. It doesn't expire.
Tell me where to send it and it's yours.
Send me the workshopDo you ever get to the end of a school morning and wonder how it went that way again?
She was fine at breakfast. Then the shoes were wrong, or the backpack was too heavy, or she wouldn't get out of the car, and you were already late and using a voice you don't like. By the time you got home you had decided it was you.
Or it's quieter than that. He doesn't fall apart at the door. He falls apart at seven at night over something small, and you can't work out what that has to do with school. Or she tells you she's fine and you can tell she isn't.
And most of the advice you find is about the night before. Lay out the clothes. Move bedtime back. You've done that, and the morning still went the way it went.
What's actually happening
It looks like behavior. It's usually load.
A transition asks a child to stop one thing and start another, and that costs her something. Count what a school morning actually asks of her. Asleep to awake. Bed to floor. Pajamas to clothes. Play to table. Table to door. House to car. Car to classroom. That is seven changes in under an hour, every one of them a demand on a brain that isn't finished growing.
When a child runs out of resources partway through that stack, what you see is refusal. What's happening is depletion. That distinction changes everything you do next, because you can't discipline a child out of being depleted. You can change the load.
And underneath every transition sit five specific needs. They're the same five whether it's the first day of school, the end of screen time, a new baby, or a move to a different house. Once you can name them, you stop guessing at what your child needs and start giving it to her on purpose.
What you'll learn
The five core needs, and what each one looks like in your house.
We go through them one at a time. What the need is, what it turns into when it isn't met, and what you can say and do about it this week.
Familiarity
A child's brain runs on rhythm and prediction, and it's asking one question underneath everything: do I know what happens next? Summer changed every answer, and now it's changing them back. Even a child who's excited about school reads that as disruption, and what you see is a grumpy brain hunting for something it recognizes.Connection
Your child is anticipating the loss of you. In a younger one that looks like clinginess, meltdowns over nothing, or suddenly needing help with something she's done by herself all summer. In an older one it looks like the opposite: withdrawal, eye rolls, a door that closes. Same root, different defense.Preparation
The need underneath is certainty, and uncertainty is where most of the worry lives. When a brain doesn't know what to expect it fills the gap with the worst version, because that used to keep us alive. Reassurance doesn't touch that, and letting her avoid the thing makes it bigger. Preparation is what actually works.Home Base
You are the place your child comes back to and recharges, and that's still true at five, at fifteen, and at twenty-five on the phone from three states away. It's why the worst of the day often lands on you the second she walks in the door. That isn't ingratitude. You're the one person safe enough to fall apart in front of.Grief and Growth
A transition is two feelings at once. Sad about what's ending and glad about what's starting, and neither our culture nor our brains make much room for both. The word that does the work here is and, not but. You're excited and you're sad. But cancels one of them, and your child needs to keep them both.What you get
A workshop you can watch tonight and use tomorrow morning.
The 50 minute workshop
The workbook
A page for each child
What to say
It keeps working past September
Yours to keep
"Leigh clearly explains the physiological side of parenting struggles and balances it with approachable tips to apply to everyday life."
NatVanEv
Is this the right thing for you right now?
Yes, if
✓Your child is in a transition, whether or not it has anything to do with school
✓Mornings or drop-off have become the hardest part of your day
✓Your child has gone quiet, or clingy, or angry, and you can't work out why
✓You have children at different ages and need something that works for all of them
✓You want to understand what's underneath the behavior, not just stop it
Probably not, if
•You're looking for a behavior chart or a consequence system
•You want to be told what to do without being told why it works
•What you actually need right now is therapy, which this isn't
Who's teaching it
I'm a therapist and a mom of five.
For more than 30 years I've helped women and families become calmer and more sure of themselves. Thousands of mothers, hundreds of families. I've also stood in my own hallway saying a child's name for the fourth time while the clock moved, so I'm not teaching this from the outside.
I built this workshop because the back to school conversation almost always stops at supply lists and bedtimes. Nobody explains what a transition is doing inside your child, and that's the part that would actually help you.
What I teach isn't a set of tips I collected. It's the Resiliency System, a methodology I built over those 30 years, and it starts with understanding before it ever gets to strategy.
Calm your body. Direct your mind. Parent with a plan.
Resilient moms raise resilient kids.
Get the workshop
Free
$97 after October 1
$97 one time
Yours to keep. Watch it as many times as you need.
✓The 50 minute workshop, recorded
✓The workbook, with a page for each of your children
✓All five core needs, named and explained
✓Language you can use in the moment
✓Works for every transition, not only school
Tell me where to send it and it's yours.
Send me the workshopOr get this one and every other workshop.
The Resilient Mom Membership includes this workshop, the whole back catalogue, a new workshop every month, and a weekly live call with me. Members pay $39 a month at the founding rate.Before you sign up
Questions moms ask me
What ages is this for?
Every age. The five needs don't change as a child grows, but what they look like does, and we go through how each one looks different in a four year old and in a fourteen year old. The workbook has a page for each of your children so you can work it out for the ones you actually have.My child isn't starting school. Is this still for me?
Yes. It's called Back to School With Confidence because August is when most of us need it, but the teaching is about transitions. A new baby, a move, a parent traveling, the end of screen time every evening. Same five needs.How long is it, and when do I watch it?
Fifty minutes, recorded, and there's nothing to attend. Watch it in one sitting or in ten minute pieces across a week. It's yours, so there's no window you can miss.Do I need to have listened to the podcast?
No. The workshop stands on its own. If you have listened, you'll recognize some of the ideas and this goes considerably further into what to do with them.What if this doesn't help my child?
Then tell me. Write to me at leigh@leighgermann.com and say what's happening in your house. I read those myself, and sometimes what a mother describes is something the workshop was never going to solve, in which case I'd rather point you somewhere useful.Is this therapy?
No. This is education. It isn't therapy and it doesn't create a therapeutic relationship. If what you need is treatment, I'd encourage you to work with a licensed provider in your state.Your next step
You don't need a better morning routine. You need to know what your child is asking for.
The workshop is free through September 30. Watch it tonight, fill in a page for each of your children, and go into tomorrow knowing what you're looking at.Watch it tonight, fill in a page for each of your children, and go into tomorrow knowing what you're looking at.Already a member? It's waiting for you in the membership library.