Each Pillar of the Resiliency System Takes You a Step Closer to Balance & Joy
Self Awareness
Types of Awareness
Global Self Awareness
"In the Moment" Self Awareness
Why is Self Awareness Important?
Self Awareness is the first step in creating the life you want. It involves learning to know yourself better and opens the door to knowing how to work with yourself.
We all have patterns of thinking and behaving that seem to happen automatically. These automated patterns run our world, leading us to think and behave in ways that can seem out of our control. Because of this, most people live in a state of reactivity. We want to live in a state of reflectivity and responsibility.
Self Awareness allows you to look inside and know why you think, feel and behave the way you do so that in the moment you can make different choices than your automatic self does.
How Can I Become More Self Aware?
The first step in developing greater self awareness is learning how to be an observer.
Because our thoughts and our feelings occur in rapid fire succession, we often are quite unaware of everything that is going on in within us.
Noticing what we are feeling and thinking from a non-judgmental place is critical to success.
This is all about learning how to work with yourself. Not criticize and punish yourself. It is about learning what works for you and what doesn’t and how to bridge the gap between those two things. What we learn to look for is the “space” between what is happening in our moment and how we want to react.
Self Awareness
Types of Awareness
Global Self Awareness
"In the Moment" Self Awareness
Why is Self Awareness Important?
Self Awareness is the first step in creating the life you want. It involves learning to know yourself better and opens the door to knowing how to work with yourself.
We all have patterns of thinking and behaving that seem to happen automatically. These automated patterns run our world, leading us to think and behave in ways that can seem out of our control. Because of this, most people live in a state of reactivity. We want to live in a state of reflectivity and responsibility.
Self Awareness allows you to look inside and know why you think, feel and behave the way you do so that in the moment you can make different choices than your automatic self does.
How Can I Become More Self Aware?
The first step in developing greater self awareness is learning how to be an observer.
Because our thoughts and our feelings occur in rapid fire succession, we often are quite unaware of everything that is going on in within us.
Noticing what we are feeling and thinking from a non-judgmental place is critical to success.
This is all about learning how to work with yourself. Not criticize and punish yourself. It is about learning what works for you and what doesn’t and how to bridge the gap between those two things. What we learn to look for is the “space” between what is happening in our moment and how we want to react.
Self Compassion
Self Compassion is being kind, understanding and forgiving of yourself in all situations, but especially when you are feeling inadequate or like you have let yourself or someone else down.
Why is Self Compassion Important?
Most of us are our worst critic rather than our best ally.
Being self-compassionate eliminates the “war within” allowing you to claim your worth and be resilient when you face challenges. Without self-compassion we are caught in a trap of negativity and self-punishment. Research has shown that people respond to compassion far more than they do to criticism. Love wins over fear every time. Being self-compassionate is learning how to motivate yourself with love rather than fear.
How Can I Become More Self Compassionate?
Self Compassion begins with understanding the way our brains are built and how we can choose to train our brains to work for us rather than against us.
Building on the skills of self awareness and mindfulness, we can notice the critic in our head and learn to speak differently to ourselves, using kindness instead of judgment. Understanding that we are not alone and that everyone is imperfect and makes mistakes, allows us to shift from paralyzing self-blame to empowered self-acceptance.
Self Compassion
Self-compassion is being kind, understanding and forgiving of yourself in all situations, but especially when you are feeling inadequate or like you have let yourself or someone else down.
Why is Self Compassion Important?
Most of us are our worst critic rather than our best ally.
Being self-compassionate eliminates the “war within” allowing you to claim your worth and be resilient when you face challenges. Without self-compassion we are caught in a trap of negativity and self-punishment. Research has shown that people respond to compassion far more than they do to criticism. Love wins over fear every time. Being self-compassionate is learning how to motivate yourself with love rather than fear.
How Can I Become More Self Compassionate?
Self Compassion begins with understanding the way our brains are built and how we can choose to train our brains to work for us rather than against us.
Building on the skills of self awareness and mindfulness, we can notice the critic in our head and learn to speak differently to ourselves, using kindness instead of judgment. Understanding that we are not alone and that everyone is imperfect and makes mistakes, allows us to shift from paralyzing self-blame to empowered self-acceptance.
Self Talk
- We have our external reality, or the things that are objectively happening around us, and
- We have our internal experience which is how we think and feel about them.
This internal part of our world is vast, deep, and usually completely outside of our daily awareness!
How you talk to yourself matters – what you say and what you believe actually creates the feelings you have. In the Self Talk Pillar, you learn how to drive your thoughts and feelings rather having them drive you. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is one tool used to create and protect healthy thinking. Mindset is another that helps shift negative and self-destructive patterns to patterns of hope and resilience.
Why is Self Talk Important?
What we believe becomes our truth, regardless of whether it is accurate, rational, or good for us. Anxiety and depression are often the result of faulty thinking. When thinking changes, feelings change. We no longer need to be held captive by untruths! Thinking and believing in healthy ways will change your life for the better.
How Can I Become Better at Self Talk?
The first step is to understand the mechanics of thoughts, beliefs and mindsets. Using Self Awareness and Self Compassion, the next step is to notice the thinking patterns. We have several tools to challenge negative thinking and adopt healthy and freeing mindsets to better serve you in your life. The next time you hear that “voice in your head”, pause before believing every word of what she says. Check it for truth. Check it for reason. Check it to see if it serves you well.
Self Talk
- We have our external reality, or the things that are objectively happening around us, and
- We have our internal experience which is how we think and feel about them.
This internal part of our world is vast, deep, and usually completely outside of our daily awareness!
How you talk to yourself matters – what you say and what you believe actually creates the feelings you have. In the Self Talk Pillar, you learn how to drive your thoughts and feelings rather having them drive you. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is one tool used to create and protect healthy thinking. Mindset is another that helps shift negative and self-destructive patterns to patterns of hope and resilience.
Why is Self Talk Important?
What we believe becomes our truth, regardless of whether it is accurate, rational, or good for us. Anxiety and depression are often the result of faulty thinking. When thinking changes, feelings change. We no longer need to be held captive by untruths! Thinking and believing in healthy ways will change your life for the better.
How Can I Become Better at Self Talk?
The first step is to understand the mechanics of thoughts, beliefs and mindsets. Using Self Awareness and Self Compassion, the next step is to notice the thinking patterns. We have several tools to challenge negative thinking and adopt healthy and freeing mindsets to better serve you in your life. The next time you hear that “voice in your head”, pause before believing every word of what she says. Check it for truth. Check it for reason. Check it to see if it serves you well.
Self Care
Why is Self Care Important?
As adults, we are the ones in charge of our physical and emotional care. Unfortunately, we are usually last on our list as we have so many responsibilities and so many other people to take care of. Unfortunately, most of us “go without” far too often. With no gas in the tank, the car stops driving, and that’s what happens to us as women. We need a strong and dedicated regimen of healthy food, sleep, exercise and support to stay strong. With this strength, our balance returns and we can be our best self. On top of that, we become a model to our children in how they can learn to care well for themselves. A well without a source of water runs dry. Self-care creates a spring of water that insures your well will not run dry.
How Can I Become Better at Self Care?
The first step in taking better care of yourself is to understand what your body and mind need and why. Knowledge is power and creates the foundation for making purposeful choices in your life. Know how much sleep you need and how to make a specific plan to improve your sleep. Know how your body is optimally fueled and create an eating plan that will give you the energy and health you need to be strong. Know why your body needs movement to work well, both physically and emotionally and start an exercise plan that you can comfortably keep for life.
We approach these things from a place of understanding, love and hope rather than threat or fear.
Self Care
Why is Self Care Important?
As adults, we are the ones in charge of our physical and emotional care. Unfortunately, we are usually last on our list as we have so many responsibilities and so many other people to take care of. Unfortunately, most of us “go without” far too often. With no gas in the tank, the car stops driving, and that’s what happens to us as women. We need a strong and dedicated regimen of healthy food, sleep, exercise and support to stay strong. With this strength, our balance returns and we can be our best self. On top of that, we become a model to our children in how they can learn to care well for themselves. A well without a source of water runs dry. Self-care creates a spring of water that insures your well will not run dry.
How Can I Become Better at Self Care?
The first step in taking better care of yourself is to understand what your body and mind need and why. Knowledge is power and creates the foundation for making purposeful choices in your life. Know how much sleep you need and how to make a specific plan to improve your sleep. Know how your body is optimally fueled and create an eating plan that will give you the energy and health you need to be strong. Know why your body needs movement to work well, both physically and emotionally and start an exercise plan that you can comfortably keep for life.
We approach these things from a place of understanding, love and hope rather than threat or fear.
Self Protection
- Understanding stress and making it behave in your life
- Understanding what healthy boundaries are and how to set and keep them
- Creating a library of personalized strategies that are effective in dealing with the stress in your life.
Why is Self Protection Important?
We live in a fast paced and stress filled world. To think that we should face this stress untrained and unprepared is a serious flaw in our life plan. All too often we feel at the mercy of the events that occur in our lives, leaving us overwhelmed, depleted and confused. Learning to protect ourselves from hurtful relationships, knowing how to say yes and no at the right times and for the right reasons and actively choosing our response to stress are all key in creating a safe and happy life. We often come to adulthood with bad habits and patterns of behavior that are not serving us well. Self-protection helps us make the needed changes that will free us to be happier and healthier.
How Can I Become Better at Self Protection?
Learning to understand the mechanics of stress and the stress response can alert you early on that you are being called to take action in your defense. Setting healthy boundaries in your relationships, in your time management and even in your expectations can make a world of difference in how you feel about your life. Actively practicing your personalized coping strategies gives you the power to soothe and calm yourself in any situation.
Self Protection
- Understanding stress and making it behave in your life
- Understanding what healthy boundaries are and how to set and keep them
- Creating a library of personalized strategies that are effective in dealing with the stress in your life.
Why is Self Protection Important?
We live in a fast paced and stress filled world. To think that we should face this stress untrained and unprepared is a serious flaw in our life plan. All too often we feel at the mercy of the events that occur in our lives, leaving us overwhelmed, depleted and confused. Learning to protect ourselves from hurtful relationships, knowing how to say yes and no at the right times and for the right reasons and actively choosing our response to stress are all key in creating a safe and happy life. We often come to adulthood with bad habits and patterns of behavior that are not serving us well. Self-protection helps us make the needed changes that will free us to be happier and healthier.
How Can I Become Better at Self Protection?
Learning to understand the mechanics of stress and the stress response can alert you early on that you are being called to take action in your defense. Setting healthy boundaries in your relationships, in your time management and even in your expectations can make a world of difference in how you feel about your life. Actively practicing your personalized coping strategies gives you the power to soothe and calm yourself in any situation.